at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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