Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
