i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
