Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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