Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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