TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
