I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This is my gift to your gina
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
