i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
