his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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