I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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