laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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