I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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