I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
