the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
