I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
