Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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