She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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