Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize