I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
