You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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