walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
