Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize