why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize