New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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