No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize