she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
