Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
