I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
