Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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