I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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