no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
