Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Soap is not a condiment
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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