All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
