why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
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