Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
