But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
