Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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