Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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