forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You did what with his pubic hair?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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