Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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