fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
