Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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