Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Randomize
