Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So squirting runs in the family.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
