so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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