does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
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