i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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