Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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