I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
