Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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