That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize