i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
