It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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