imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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