Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?"Âť and "Why tacos?"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
