I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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