Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
