somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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