I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
