before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My ATM looks so different sober.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
