I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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