My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
