i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
