he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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