Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
