My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
