We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
