you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize