Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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